People always seem surprised to find out that July 31st is National Orgasm Day. And almost no one understands its origins or the whys of how it got started in the first place. Here’s the story in a nutshell … back in 2007, a man from Esperantina, Brazil named Arimateio Dantas created a day for female orgasm because he owed a “sexual debt” to his wife. The day is dedicated to the right of females to experience orgasm. Seriously. That’s how National Orgasm Day started. Except it began as International Female Orgasm Day which is celebrated on August 8th. It’s unclear – at least to me – how International Female Orgasm Day in Brazil became National Orgasm Day in the USA, but here we are - along with the UK, Canada and Australia. Obrigado, Senhor Dantas!
It's important to point out that there’s a reason why somebody’s husband felt compelled to dedicate a day to female orgasm. Clearly, he was aware of the fact that men have more orgasms than women. A lot more. It’s called the orgasm gap and, yes – it’s a thing. There are reasons for it – like a sex education system that fails to mention the clitoris and false images of women having orgasms from intercourse alone. And lest we forget, the language of our culture prioritizes male pleasure. You know it’s true. Here's the bottom line - the collective “he” has a happy ending 85% of the time compared to our 63%. Therein lies the gap.
So what can we do to close the gap? For starters we can employ some tips put together by Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., author of “Becoming Cliterate – Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It”. She compiled the list to help women celebrate National Orgasm Day and all of them point us in the right direction to begin closing the orgasm gap. They’re presented below along with my commentary.
Five Tips to Help Women Celebrate National Orgasm Day
- Good sex begins in your mind, according to Dr. Mintz, so think sex-positive thoughts like, "I deserve pleasure as much as my partner".
- Don't think at all. Turn off your “thinking brain” and be in the moment. This is not the time to be thinking about your to do list, ladies.
- Practice self love. Be your own sexual SME about what works for you. Know yourself!
- Practice sex in which your orgasm is as important as his. And remember … practice makes perfect.
- Use good sexual communication (when you're having sex and when you're not). In other words, talk about it – of course when you’re between the sheets, but also outside of the bedroom. To quote the good doctor, “Communication is the foundation of a good relationship, and good communication can make your bed rock!”
Whether you celebrate today with someone special or you’ll be whooping it up alone, let’s use Dr. Mintz’s tips to begin closing the orgasm gap today. It’s the perfect time to start!
Happy National Orgasm Day 2020!!